The “Don’t You Record Me” Stratagem

A few weeks ago, I was mentioning some strategies in how to deal with telemarketers, and whether or not they work.

The next time you have to deal with one, try this strategy out.

If the telemarketer tells you they are recording you, for quality assurance purposes or otherwise, hang up.

There are plenty of variations of this strategy.  You can tell them “no” or “no chance” or even “no way” when they mention this.  You can set the phone down somewhere and grab a bottle of water, rearrange your sock drawer, break wind over the phone, or just refuse to say anything until they hang up.  That’s one I use a lot.  Liars give you too much information.  Sit back and wait to pounce.  Think of yourself as a baseball hitter waiting for that right pitch to hit a home run off of.

If you really want to put a telemarketer on his or her heels, tell them that you are recording them.  If they object, you could point out their hypocrisy.

They may call you back a week, a month, or a few months from now.  When they do, keep doing the same thing.  But sooner or later, they’ll realize continuing to call you is a stalemate at best, and they will give up.  Make them submit to your will.  Don’t submit to theirs.

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The “Don’t You Record Me” Stratagem

A Strategy That Doesn’t Always Work…

So there’s this video on YouTube about how you can terrorize telemarketers with one word: saying “yes” over and over.

This strategy doesn’t always work.

If you’re saying yes repeatedly to someone who wants to clean your carpet, or check your air conditioning unit, saying yes will only get them to knock on your do, saying you gave your consent for their invasion of your home.

When dealing with that kind of situation, it might not be a bad idea to mix in the word “no” when the appointment setting moment arrives.

Then again, you can always deny that you set up the appointment to begin with, provided they didn’t record the conversation.

A Strategy That Doesn’t Always Work…

Mr. Or Mrs. Blow Me

Back in the 2000’s, I briefly worked at a appointment setting travel office that was on East Bay Drive and Keene Road in Largo, Florida.  It wasn’t too far from where I lived at the time, so I figured why not give it a try?  Didn’t say there long, the supervisor was a bit of a dick, but I digress.

They had a computerized system to handle the calls.  So I’m working through them on a Wednesday night, and I’m hearing this woman with an Asian accent going “Hello” at me.  I was speechless.

I looked at the computerized screen and couldn’t stop laughing.  If the information on the screen was correct, her first name was Blow and her last name was Me.  Now, there’s no way in hell I could address this woman as Miss or Mrs. Blow Me.  So I just bust out laughing.  But by the time I recompose myself, she was long gone, whoever she was.

So if it was a joke, and even if it wasn’t, well played.  The first and only time to date I have cracked up on the phones.

Mr. Or Mrs. Blow Me

A Fair Exchange Of Information

Trolling the Craigslist ads, December 7, 2012.
Trolling the Craigslist ads, December 7, 2012.

As I mentioned back on November 10th, a lot of the telemarketing job openings in central Pinellas have simply gone away, and are not advertising job openings nor have they since the Presidential elections. My guess is a lot of these companies now see a second term for a President Obama as confirmation that his health care system will take effect, and have decided not to hire any more help.

I continue to see a lot of companies that still do hire in Pinellas County put up what I call “weasel ads” on Craigslist.  They will put up an ad, and not put up a phone number as to who to call and where to go, just the “reply to this ad” button in the upper left of the job page.  Some company who hides behind an E-mail won’t talk to you if they don’t want to, which defeats the whole purpose of hiring to begin with, doesn’t it?  A company with an address or a phone number would be a lot less likely to play a shell game on somebody looking for a job.

And would not a perspective hire think twice about replying to such an ad?  If they (the advertiser of a job) have something to hide now, it’s probably for a reason that will be discovered later.  Maybe it’s not a licensed place.  Maybe it’s a place where you are a “1099” independent contractor employee, where the company you do business with does not take out taxes.

So if you see one of those “weasel ads” on Craigslist, avoid it like the plague.  It’s usually not worth the headaches it will cost you later.

A Fair Exchange Of Information

You’ll Never Work In This Town Again

So is my future as a telemarketer over?  Right now, it looks that way.

But it would be foolish never to say never.  Some of these boiler rooms have short term memories, while some have the memories of an elephant.  They are like snowflakes, each room having their own set of rules and standards.  Not that there’s totally anything wrong with that.

These businesses will get more and more desperate, with mandated healthcare cutting into their profits in the years ahead now that President Obama has locked up a second term in the White House.  And that will probably lead to more scrutiny from the states that license telemarketing organizations.  More scrutiny will probably lead to more states licensing telemarketers.  Twenty seven states currently do, but I could easily see the industry having to meet federal licensing within ten years.  Then, unfortunately, you’ll have to be licensed to do anything work related.  That’s the sad reality that lies ahead.

This business pretty much destroyed the first two decades on my adult life.  Only because I allowed it happen.  The best thing I can do is not to allow it to happen anymore and take responsibility for what did happen.

That doesn’t mean this blog is going to wither and die, either.  You never know what news may crop up.

You’ll Never Work In This Town Again

License To Telemarket

So which states require an employee to have telemarketing licensing, you ask?

They are:

Alabama, Arizona, Colorado, Delaware, Florida, Idaho, Indiana, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan, Mississippi, Montana, Nevada, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, South Dakota, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Washington, West Virginia, and Wisconsin.

Note that a lot of these states in this list are Republican controlled states, with the exception of some of the northeastern states such as New York and Vermont.  Maybe those Republican states, like Florida, see it as a money making venture for themselves.

As for the Northeastern states, they probably have purer reasons to require boiler rooms to do this.  It is a good business practice, after all.

License To Telemarket