Day 1: The Prisoner

Well, the new gig at Company X went bust pretty fast. I got disgusted and walked over a lack of training that they give you.

I can never understand why companies would want to rush you into selling something they barely train you for. Would you cook a plate of spaghetti if you barely knew how, or fly a plane if they told you what only a few parts of a plane do?

It kind of reminds me of The Prisoner TV show. Instead of numbers in place of human beings, it’s scam jobs in place of dignified jobs. In the end, the scheme set up to entrap Number Six is apparent – just like in the end the scam to entrap customers or even employees is always apparent.

I wasn’t looking for a free lunch. I was looking for a fair shake. Didn’t find it here, and life will go on.


Day 0, Part II: Preparation

I’m running around the house more paranoid than Alex Jones, making sure everything is done so I can train tomorrow morning. Shower? What if they shut the water off here tomorrow before I can get out of here? (No, I’m not in bill trouble – but there is water testing scheduled.) I shower tonight instead.

I’m carrying a bag with me tomorrow to keep some stuff – notebook, pens, a phone charger, a couple of bottles of water. I want to be prepared – but not overly so.

The alarm is set for 6:30 in the morning, and I have to be there just before nine. I never sleep well the day before a job begins, and I suspect tonight will be no different. So many “known unknowns” as a government official named Donald Rumsfeld once said. Do I go on the phones tomorrow, the first day I’m there? Are we going all the way through the day until the late afternoon?

In the absence of information, I have to be prepared for anything.

Day 0: Wait, How Did I Wind Up Back Here Again?

I feel like an alcoholic being back here again, three years and change after my last piece. But on this date of June 5, 2018 – I accepted another telemarketing job, and I start it tomorrow.

My voice sings the siren song of optimism, but we’ll see how long that lasts before it is ripped away. My goal is to last as long as possible, but if that’s really the goal, what am I doing here?

My office is an electric company on a busy north-south highway/road in the middle of Pinellas County. My starting wages are said to be $10/hour. I will have to apply for a telemarketers license through this company – something I’ve never had to have held before as a work condition.

I’d love to say a lot more, but hey – I DO want to try and keep this job a bit, so I’ll just call this firm “Company X” for now. That should be anonymous enough to keep the heat off.

It’ll be interesting – I never thought I’d be a blogger here again.

Dress For The Lack Of Success

There’s something else I’ve noticed about Craig’s List ads as of late that has been a recurring theme on this blog, and that’s how many of the business that want employees to dress in a “business casual” manner.  Some even went you to put suits, ties, and dresses on for people you talk to that THEY (the callers) cannot see.

As previously mentioned, I find this a very anal retentive way of doing business.  Not everyone who needs a job has easy access to good clothes.  I don’t even keep more than a couple of pair of slacks in my wardrobe.  A decade ago, very few businesses cared about how employees dress, provided they weren’t wearing something crazy.  Now, it seems every business wants you in your Sunday best.

A few years ago, one company explained to me that if you look good, you will feel good and that will be evident as you speak on the phone.


It’s just one more layer of bullshit these companies wish to put you through, just because they can.  Resist it if you can, as these companies merely do this to keep the poor priced out of jobs they could acquire to better themselves.  They want warm bodies, just certain types of warm bodies.  Their ideas defeat their own purposes.

We’re Hiring…We’re Just Not Hiring You

I don’t usually go back to places where I apply and don’t get hired.  Last Monday, I put in my first telemarketing application in nearly 2 1/2 years at the place closest to my home: Jabor Integrated.  Studying their Craig’s List ads, it appeared they had a change in management, but when I got there I met the guy I met back in 2012.  The old “we want you to think we’ve changed management” ploy, I assume?

The guy who greeted me said I looked familiar, which from my experiences is usually a kiss of the death when you apply somewhere you applied before.  It is usually their way of saying: what the hell are you doing back here?

Said guy grabs some women to tell me that they are just excepting applications.  Of course this was subterfuge, as they ran ads looking for employees on Craig’s List the day I applied, the next day, the day after that, and today.

Needless to say, I won’t be trying there again, unless there is some kind of telemarketer apocalypse.  If they are willing to do this to someone who merely applied twice two and a half years apart, I wonder what they would do to people they actually KNOW.

Killing People With Unkindness

Yep, I’m still around.

I have had the good fortune to not have to go back to the boiler rooms yet. But as 2014 dawns, I may be still singing a different tune, now that I will have to pay for this little thing called the Affordable Care Act that is a misnomer if I have ever heard one.

But that might not be so bad for this blog. It might get me a new set of adventures to report to you with.

Speaking of new adventures, I’ve been getting calls from that organization of telemarketers that has the word “Florida” in it. The latest recon I get is that these organizations are Republican Party fronts, giving their donations to only those candidates that frolic with the elephants.

But when they call, they can never get my name right.

And I have a last name that if it’s mispronounced, it has a different perceived spelling to it.

I tell these people that specific person isn’t there.

They call back. And call back again.

So when I use that spiel over and over, they finally catch on.

I’m told by one guy today with a foreign accent that “We are calling the correct number, sir.”


So if I had moved in the past few days and forgotten to disconnect the phone line, or if the caller’s organization was slow in getting that information, they would be calling the correct number?

From that point, I yessed the guy a couple of times and dropped the phone when he went into his pitch.

Maybe now they’ll get the point that I don’t want to talk to them.

Imminent Infiltration

I’ll probably be looking around for telemarketing work once more in the coming weeks.  Without going into much detail, my life situation is changing, and my happiness where I live is deteriorating.

As Maya Angelou once said: if you don’t like something, change it.

Looking at the sales jobs in Craiglist this past week, I note that are fewer and fewer job opportunities in the boiler rooms.  That’s good for the people who don’t like getting those phone calls, bad for the people who need work.

Oddly enough, all the boiler rooms I mentioned back in the fall are still looking for employees.  Like the ADT Security people on Park Boulevard.  And Gulf Coast Processing now off of Ulmerton Road.

One of the axioms of the business seems to be: those that constantly hire are those that constantly fire and are constant liars.

Now I have to get back in the water with these crocodiles again. Sucks.